Tuesday, March 2, 2010

{ THE BACHELOR: The Final Rose & More... }

Hooray, it's over! I can have my Monday nights back! I think this season goes down in the books as "The Worst Season In Bachelor History." Not only was Jake the most boring human being ever, but he picked the he/she, the most unfortunate looking of all 25 women offered to him. I just don't get it. I'm thinking of submitting this picture to the FAIL BLOG. What do you think? Epic FAIL indeed!

Ok, I am so pathetic. I actually cried during last night's episode. I know, I'm ridiculous. In the middle of Tenley's dismissal, my friend Tristen looks over at me and is like "Girl, it's NOT real!" Why do I have such a hard time remembering that? I guess I just shared in the pain of feeling rejected by someone you thought loved you. Poor Tenley. I hope she realizes she's better off without him!

Moving on....while I'd like to sit here and rip on Vienna for being an ugly, googly-eyed tranny, I just can't (well, I guess i kinda just did. Ooops!) Of course I think Jake is an idiot for choosing her, but hey, it's his choice, not mine. I don't think I'd mind her so much if she let ABC do her makeup the way they did at the final rose ceremony. It's amazing what a little under eye concealer, champagne colored shadow, some eye liner, and jet black mascara can do for a girl.

Enough about that. How about the "After The Final Rose" show? First of all, I feel so bad for poor Tenley and her embarrassing "Oh you smell so good comment." Not a good idea. But she looked pretty. Real pretty. And I loved when she put Jake in the hot seat and the audience roared with approval. Stupid Jake. You go girl!

Okay, so WHAT happened to Vienna Sausage? She still looked like a "tranny" but dang, that girl dropped some pounds! And got new eyebrows? And a new do? Way to go Vienna. Still unfortunate, but a little easier on the eye. I woke up this morning ready to drop a few lbs myself.

So have you heard the latest rumors about the controversial couple? Whenever I hear a rumor like this I just laugh! I have a very viable source who shared with me that in 2 weeks Jake will be releasing a public statement announcing his break up with his dearest Vienna Sausage. Hahahahah! You get what you deserve Jake. Have fun on dancing with the stars!!! We all pray it doesn't look anything like that little street romp you had with Gia in NYC. You know what I'm talking about! Man was that painful.

I'll see you back here next Tuesday for a re-cap on the Jason Mesnick wedding. My friend Shauna (who worked on the set of the wedding) shared a little sneak peak from the LA event. Apparently it rained. Alot. Hahahaha!!! I still don't like those two.

11 comments:

Jenny said...

Thanks for all of your spot on commentaries on The Bach this season but you forgot to comment on what you thought of Ali as the next bachelorette. I'm not that thrilled. Once again Tenly got the shaft.

Aubrey said...

Thank you Jenny for reminding me! How could I have forgotten that? I am so NOT thrilled about Ali being the next Bachelorette either. I know we all liked her in the beginning but that was before the whining! Now, I just find her annoying. Although I'm excited to see what kind of men ABC throws her way. Should be fun!

theblibbys said...

Loved your post. I am so happy this season is over. I am not happy about Ali being the Bachelorette either. You know I'm going to watch....can't wait for that annoying wedding next week too. Molly drives me NUTS!

IzeOfLight said...

Um, yeah. I totally cried, too, when he dumped Tenley. Don't really know why, but I did! One of the reasons I'm glad she's not The Bachelorette--and that Ali is--is because I rarely love the person they choose for their own show, once the show's run its course (Jillian and Trista being the only exceptions). The other ones, I end up REALLY disliking by the end (DeAnna, Jason, Jake, etc.), and I'm really happy that, this way, Tenley gets to remain classy and graceful.

Can't stand Jason and Molly. Ew! TEAM MELISSA!

Still haven't finished watching the ATFR, so I might have more thoughts later, but my initial thought is, Jake's an idiot! Vienna's trashy! Tenley's classy!

Bracken and Bracken said...

That picture made me throw up in my mouth, just a little bit!! My favorite part of the whole evening was when Jake said about Vienna "She makes me feel like I am the only man in the room" and Mark piped up from across the room "You are!!" BAHAHAHA!! My heart went out to poor Tenley though, she deserves better...and a B of M. As for Ali, America is not in love with her, the producers just have some drama planned for her season!! Just glad this dumb season is over, Jake's a moron! Love this stupid show :)

CoCo said...

Aubrey - Is that wedding not at a swanky resort in Rancho Palos Verdes where your succulent center pieces graced the tables of a sunset dinner in the EXACT same spot? If I'm right on the location, then all I have to say is how appropriate? :)

Melly Mel said...

I never watched it but I am grateful for your blog. I get my updates... she looks just like my ex-husband's girlfriend. Almost uncanny.

Thank you for this. Love you Aubs.

Meredith Conroy said...

aubs, i would have cried, too, except there were too many people around... so i cried on the inside. LIL TENLEY's poor lil' (Disney) heart.

btw bieber fever forever.

Kim said...

I predict they won't last for a year... Sorry Jake, I really don't think that Vienna will be your support and have your back when she grows up...

Bracken and Bracken said...

I just remembered...I totally agree with you about the eye make-up thing. What a difference it made although, to quote Joel McHale again, she isn't cross-eyed, she is just really good at looking both ways before she crosses the street. BAHAHAHA!!!

The Townsend Family said...

Oh Aubs I LOVE your commentary. I wait for it! I am sad to have a brief hiatus until the bachelorette starts again. I am SO SO SO Sad I won't be able to see you tonight with Tiff. I have Noel Riley's bridal shower tonight at 6 and need to get the little one situated beforehand. Hope to see you sooooooon!!!! xoxo