Welcome back to another Tuesday edition of "The Bachelorette" recap. This week the ladies and I decided to "forgo our individual suites" and watch Episode 5 at Bishop Bruce's house after Family Home Evening. Of course he pretended to go to bed while his wife stayed up with the ladies, but we know all know he went upstairs to where to enjoy the show in peace and quiet. I don't blame him. It was noisy crowd and we all know who's to blame. Boys...you are all uninvited next week! Sorry.
Anyway, Monday night's episode of the Bachelorette found Jillian and her bachelors in the serene mountain town of Whistler, British Columbia. A location high on my bucket list. So beautiful! And in case you're wondering, I'm still Team Reid/Kiptyn. Okay, now let's get on to the good stuff:
MICHAEL: Michael and Jill had a great date together swinging through the trees of Whistler. He was funny, charming, and totally cute. However, I'm going to have to disagree with Michael when he said they had a total "spark of awesomeness!" Funny, but no. I think Michael's a little to young, and honestly, maybe a little TOO fun for her. Jill needs a more mellow man. And that's just not Michael.
WESS: I am soooo grateful we didn't have to hear any crappy country songs last night from Wess. Thank heaven! Speaking of Wess, did anyone else notice how Jill suddenly became a different person around him. I mean, it might just be the result of some sneaky editing, but as soon as Jill sat down with Wess, she dropped the s-bomb. Come on Jill. I thought you were a lot classier than that.
KIPTYN: Speaking of classy...thank you Jill for asking Kiptyn to feel your butt. What? Smooth move Jill! But I don't really blame her. He's so hot that whenever he's around, she completely forgets how to be a normal human being. Been there. Done that.
REID: Uh, how cute is Reid? I seriously can't handle it. In the words of Jesse, "When [he] talks, I listen. It's arousing!" If he doesn't make it into the final two I'd be shocked.
JESSE: He doesn't do it for me. It seems like she's into him and they had a great time on their private glacier. But I just don't see it progressing to the end. And what kind of compliment is "You have the body of a gymnast." No Jill, you do not look like Shawn Johnson.
ED: I'm sure you'll all agree with me when I say that Ed made the right decision to leave the show. Although it was sad to see him go, we all know the mutual feelings of interest would have never held out 'til the last rose. And you might not feel the same, but it really upset me how emotional Jill was when Ed left. I think she was being completely selfish and it really bothered me. Let him go Jill.
And that's all I've got for this episode. What I really wanna talk about is the preview they showed for the upcoming episode(s). We obviously know now that Reid makes it to the final three. How do we know? Well, the dumb producers gave away that he's invited to stay with Jill in the fantasy suite; something that doesn't happen until the final 3. But whatever, we all knew he would make it to the final few anyway. And what's this about a problem in the bedroom? Guaranteed it's something much stupider (is that a word?) than we're all led to believe. I can't wait!
Ps- Jill, where did you get those sunglasses? I saw you wear them on last night's episode again. So cute! Oh, and FYI, a little heavy on the eyeliner last night. You're a beautiful girl. Don't overdo it. That's all.