Tuesday, February 23, 2010

{ THE BACHELOR: The Women Tell All }

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about. What would an episode of The Women Tell All be like without a little heat and drama! There's so much to talk about, where do I even start? Let's re-cap a few of my all-time favorite highlights from this season of The Bachelor: On The Wings Of Love...

- Rozlyn's disgraceful dismissal. And that Star Trek hairdo.
- Elizabeth's "virgin Mary" note read aloud at Six Flags.
- Jake's turtlenecks and crying lean-to's. You know what I'm talking about.
- Ali's hotel hall tantrum and that awful hair!
- Manic-Michelle and her "But I'll stay if you want me to" speech. And the coconut joke. Classic!
- Tenley's private lyrical dance for Jake. What was that?
- Vienna: the hair, the makeup, the cross-eyed googly goo. Barf.

I know there are so many more I'm forgetting to make mention of, but those are just a few that have really stuck with me!

How about that Bachelor Cruise Reunion? Holy scandalousness! I would never go on a cruise like that! (insert satirical chuckle of regret). I'm just glad my man Reid was nowhere to be found on that shlutty vessel. And when they were interviewing Wes, did anyone else think he said "100 times more nipples?" Eeeek! He really needs to pay a little more attention to the pronunciation of his "B's."

As for the quick clip of their charity work, I gotta hand it to that dumb blonde, Shayne Lamas...girl's got GREAT hair! Wouldn't you agree? That's pretty much all I got out of that segment.

How fantastic was the return of crazy Michelle? I think I was most looking forward to her reaction to her horrible on-screen "performance." Talk about some heavy denial! I mean, it's obviously not fun to have to admit to yourself that you're nutso, but come on. That poor girl's mother needs to stop lying to her and admit her to the nearest psychiatric ward for further evaluation...or else get her fitted for a straight jacket before she really hurts herself.

Ok, you KNOW you've all got something to say about this little scandalous hoo-ha! I still can't believe my ears!!! She literally is the devil's mistress. The "mistress of all lies" as I like to call her. Her carelessness towards the entire situation drove me mad. And then when she tried to throw sweet Chris Harrison into her cauldron of "unicorns and magicians," he just LET HER HAVE IT! I'm so proud of Chris when he responded to her absurd slander and accusation with "I will not dignify that with a response." Way to keep it classy Chris. We're all 110% on your side!

Oh, and someone please answer me this...did I hear correctly that the "staffer" whom Rozlyn had "inappropriate relations" with HAS A WIFE??? Excuse me, what? Barbie better watch her back!

Anyway, can we talk about something else now. Like how Corrie farted! Bahahahaha! Hilarious! Why that is so funny to me at almost 28 years of age, I will never know. I guess I have the same sense of humor as a 12 year old boy!

So this is it folks. One more week and the bachelor will pick a wife. Who will he choose: Sugar or Spice? (That's more of a rhetorical questions, seeing as how I already know who wins. And who am I kidding, so do you.) See you next week for the final episode of The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love!


Anonymous said...
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design gal said...

yeah, i freaked out when i heard the staffer had a wife (that chris supposedly flirted with according to the snake rozlyn)

she is awful!

Kim said...

Wow! Is all I can say! I'm just glad that I'm not Rozlyn's mother! Yikes - where is her mother?

P.S. To those who don't post in english...Why?
What is the point?

Mands Glenn said...

I just wish I was with you every Monday night with some popcorn and Diet coke in hand watching the show. You are so right on with everything. Im going to really miss your day after re-caps!

Valerie said...

haha, your post made me laugh. even my husband watches this show with me, only since we think it is pretty much the worst way to find a mate and it's full of great laughs. yipes.

but before you completely jump on chris harrison's side, you should read what realitysteve has to say (www.realitysteve.com). ABC is full of snakes in the grass, and it looks like Rozlyn was halfway setup just to bring the drama and the ratings. Not that she's 100% innocent, mind you, but after reading about some of "what really goes on", ABC and Chris Harrison are definitely on my villian list. Shame on them.

Bracken and Bracken said...

OMG! Roz, what a waste of a pretty face, she is slimey. Good for Chris for putting her in her place. She deserved some crap!! Michelle needs to swallow that fat pill of denial. And Ali needs to stop trying to sell herself as the bachelorette, we all like Tenley, the fairy princess :) Jake, you're dumb!! This show is RIDICULOUS!! I don't even wanna watch next week, but you know I will :)

Heather said...

Hahaha I was going to tell you the same thing about realitysteve.com... Makes you wonder though. Still not a fan of Roz no matter what the sitch. As for Jake, he deserves what he gets....I know who he chooses too...dang realitysteve.com! I have no will power! Just sad it's over already...what will I do for comic relief on Monday nights now? Who do you like for the next Bachelorette? I want Gia!!!!

IzeOfLight said...

Along with Valerie and Heather, I'm not entirely on Chris Harrison's side. And I might be a big enough nerd to have listened to the two-hour interview RealitySteve had with Rozlyn, and I'd honestly say I'm on her side much more than Chris Harrison's or ABC's (and part of that is colored by my friend's experience on WifeSwap and knowing very well what was in her contract).