{ THE BACHELOR: The Women Tell All }

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about. What would an episode of The Women Tell All be like without a little heat and drama! There's so much to talk about, where do I even start? Let's re-cap a few of my all-time favorite highlights from this season of The Bachelor: On The Wings Of Love...

- Rozlyn's disgraceful dismissal. And that Star Trek hairdo.
- Elizabeth's "virgin Mary" note read aloud at Six Flags.
- Jake's turtlenecks and crying lean-to's. You know what I'm talking about.
- Ali's hotel hall tantrum and that awful hair!
- Manic-Michelle and her "But I'll stay if you want me to" speech. And the coconut joke. Classic!
- Tenley's private lyrical dance for Jake. What was that?
- Vienna: the hair, the makeup, the cross-eyed googly goo. Barf.

I know there are so many more I'm forgetting to make mention of, but those are just a few that have really stuck with me!

How about that Bachelor Cruise Reunion? Holy scandalousness! I would never go on a cruise like that! (insert satirical chuckle of regret). I'm just glad my man Reid was nowhere to be found on that shlutty vessel. And when they were interviewing Wes, did anyone else think he said "100 times more nipples?" Eeeek! He really needs to pay a little more attention to the pronunciation of his "B's."

As for the quick clip of their charity work, I gotta hand it to that dumb blonde, Shayne Lamas...girl's got GREAT hair! Wouldn't you agree? That's pretty much all I got out of that segment.

How fantastic was the return of crazy Michelle? I think I was most looking forward to her reaction to her horrible on-screen "performance." Talk about some heavy denial! I mean, it's obviously not fun to have to admit to yourself that you're nutso, but come on. That poor girl's mother needs to stop lying to her and admit her to the nearest psychiatric ward for further evaluation...or else get her fitted for a straight jacket before she really hurts herself.

Ok, you KNOW you've all got something to say about this little scandalous hoo-ha! I still can't believe my ears!!! She literally is the devil's mistress. The "mistress of all lies" as I like to call her. Her carelessness towards the entire situation drove me mad. And then when she tried to throw sweet Chris Harrison into her cauldron of "unicorns and magicians," he just LET HER HAVE IT! I'm so proud of Chris when he responded to her absurd slander and accusation with "I will not dignify that with a response." Way to keep it classy Chris. We're all 110% on your side!

Oh, and someone please answer me this...did I hear correctly that the "staffer" whom Rozlyn had "inappropriate relations" with HAS A WIFE??? Excuse me, what? Barbie better watch her back!

Anyway, can we talk about something else now. Like how Corrie farted! Bahahahaha! Hilarious! Why that is so funny to me at almost 28 years of age, I will never know. I guess I have the same sense of humor as a 12 year old boy!

So this is it folks. One more week and the bachelor will pick a wife. Who will he choose: Sugar or Spice? (That's more of a rhetorical questions, seeing as how I already know who wins. And who am I kidding, so do you.) See you next week for the final episode of The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love!