{ THE BACHELOR: Hometown Dates }

I'm sorry to keep you all on the edge of your seats, waiting for my Tuesday re-cap of The Bachelor. Life got busy so thanks for being patient. Now without any further adieu, here ya go friends...

I have to admit, I only 1/2 watched the show this week. I was caught somewhere between correcting 10 pages of Math homework (how am I supposed to know how many quarts are in a gallon!) and giving a 4 year old a bath while trying to keep the water IN the tub. Isn't babysitting the BEST! So, as far as commentary goes, this is all you're gonna get this week. Sorry. Take it or leave it:

GIA (New York, NY): I pretty much missed Jake and Gia's boat ride through New York City. Although, while pouring a glass of chocolate milk, I caught a glimpse of Gia snapping a "kissing" picture. Gross. Why do kissing pictures make me so uncomfortable? As for Gia's parents, I see where she gets her stunningly good looks...NOT!!!!!!

ALI (Williamstown, MA): I really don't remember much of this hometown date. I think I was reading the kids a story and tucking them into bed. I hear I didn't miss much though. Something about a tribute to a dead grandma? Yah, weird. So glad I jumped on the Tenley train while there was still time.

TENLEY (Newberg, OR): I can't get the awkward visual of Tenley's "lyrical dance" out of my head. I love Tenley, don't get me wrong. She's still my favorite, by a longshot, but it just made me uncomfortable (more so than Gia's kissing pictures) and weirded me out...a little. Anyway, her family was super sweet, she's super sweet, and it would be super sweet if Jake picked her to spend the rest of his boring life with.

VIENNA (Geneva, FL): Vienna sausage has got to go! I seriously have a hard time looking at the girl. The googley eyes, the orange spray tan, the bad hair extensions. They've got to go. All of them! And did anyone else squirm a litle when Vienna's dad walked in on them kissing on the bed? Awkward. Gross. Stop. It. Now.

As for the Rose Ceremony, or lack thereof, shoot me now! Why must everyone on this show act so dramatic? Enough is enough! As if Ali's dramatic-falling-on-the-floor-in-the-hotel-hallway wasn't enough to put you over the edge, then surely her hair had you rolling on the floor with laughter. Oh, that HAIR! And rumor on the street has it that she left Jake for her job at Facebook? Good choice Ali.

And Jake, don't think you're getting off the hook so easy. Why must you keel over and cry on the stairail and sob like you do! Grow some huevos and take it like a man! Then, get back in there and join the other 3 ladies and get ready for next week's "bang cards." Hahaha! That's what my roommate calls the "Fantasy Suite Card." Hahaha! Can't wait!