{ THE BACHELOR: What Not To Wear? }

Are you kidding me? How awful were the wardrobes on Monday night's episode of the Bachelor? I was dying! From Jake's horrible turtlenecks (which a few ladies actually argued that they were nice...ewwww!), his high-wasted-too-tight-in-the-thigh grandpa jeans, Gia's disgraceful short sleeve turtleneck lace something-or-other, and Vienna's ridiculous hot pink sequined tank. We want Jillian! Bring back Jillian!

Anyway, it's late and I'm exhausted from a long night of entertaining and making toasts til 1:00am, so I'll make this one as quick and painless as possible:

Corrie- Was anyone else waiting for the song "Kiss The Girl" from the Little Mermaid soundtrack to cue as Jake and Corrie paddled through the San Fran pond? What was his problem! As my friend Candace would say "Grab a life, Jake!" Oh well, we all knew she was going home. Stay sweet Corrie. Your prince charming will find you.

Ali- She's still cute as a bug but her attitude kind of stinks. I'm glad she's still around for another week...probably her last week. Sad, but true. And I'm not quite sure about the awkward park straddle, but I guess we should be used to that stuff by now. After all, this is the Bachelor!

Gia- She's hot! No wonder Jake is keeping her around. Loved her dress at the rose ceremony. Totally something I'd want for my closet. And did anyone catch my favorite line of the night when she dissed Vienna to go hang out with Jake. I believe her exact words were: "You can eat my salmon." Ha! Classic.

Vienna- Can we please just put a bag on her head? I mean, that's a little harsh, but seriously. Someone get the girlfriend a new shade of eyeshadow or something! Why do I have a sneaking suspicion she's not going home next week. I'm gonna have to agree with Tristen when she said "I call it...that crazy eyed tranny is going to win it!"

Tenley- Who doesn't love Tenley? I'm tellin' you, this girl is the next Bachelorette material. Don't disappoint me ABC! I'm counting on your for an incredible next season!